Finder’s Fee Paid - Find These

OK, I need help. I need shoes. Not just any shoes, Girlfriend needs her very favorite shoes. But they appear to have been discontinued. I’ve Googled, I’ve Dog Piled, I’ve Ebay’d. Nothing.

Let this be a lesson to you, all you judging little crapweasels who have smacked your snark on me for buying multiple pairs of the same shoe in the past. When you find a pair that you love, fits great, is comfortable, and makes you feel like the sexiest woman on earth, buy as many pairs as you can get your paws on, sacrificing body parts (your own or other shoppers stupid enough to get in your way) or else you will end up the way I am right now. Screwed.

I bought these wooden heel platform sandals a few years ago. They got me my sexy back, and affordably so. I think they are at least 4 inches but the most comfortable things I’ve ever worn. In spite of the thin heel, I could even run in them. They almost always got me compliments and well, just between us, they have gotten me some wunnerful nookie in the past. I loved them and they loved me.

LOVE.

In fact, I loved them so much that I wore them out. I literally wore them until the soles split in two. The straps didn’t wear out, they disintegrated. The reinforcements inside the leather strappies on the shoe itself have split away from the leather. The soles - seriously, cracked right through like some fashion-induced earthquake fault.

They are beyond repair. The shoe guy laughed at me.

I need them. I don’t care who you have to beat up, maim, threaten. I don’t care whose closets you have to sneak into during the dead of night to steal theirs. Find them for me. Please. They are by Steve Madden and the name of the shoe is “Wickerr” and yes, it’s spelled right. I believe they came in black, white, and red. I have the red, though you can barely tell they were once red. I don’t care what color, I want them all. I will double check the size but 9 for sure, could probably wear an 8.5 also.

I will pay a finder’s fee, I will prostitute myself and whore myself out for whatever you want. Just find them for me. Help. Please.

Girlfriend needs to get her sexy back.

Comments open for any URLs you may find, or you can email me as well.