So I’ve finished my first round of training. This means I’m done with this particular set/routine and starting with my next visit, will be on a new regime. I’ve been asked a couple of times now by a couple of different trainers if there are any areas upon which I want to focus, things I want to work on, etc. It’s been difficult to find the right/appropriate/politically correct responses here.
These are the replies I’ve given so far:
- I’d like to continue firming up my abs.
- Is there a way to even slightly tighten my belly skin?
- One thing that frustrates me is that I don’t have much definition in my waist, I’d really love to see some indications of a curve.
- Focusing on my core would be good, although I do want to continue building some strength in my arms.
- I trust you, what do you think is best?
- I would like to continue working on a wider range of flexibility and motion.
- I think I’d like to try to get more definition in my upper legs and gluts.
- I’m really open to suggestion; I am starting to feel more confident in how I look.
Now, allow me to translate these statements for you:
- I want this flabby little pudge thing under my chest and above my navel to stop looking like a third breast when I bend over.
- I want to stop buying control tops to smooth down the donespill.
- I’m sick of looking like a 2 x 4.
- I love having enough strength in my arms that should the opportunity arise, I can easily lift myself up if I’m…poised horizontally….over you someone that guy over there.
- For the first time in my life, I can easily maneuver my knees to my ears. Now I want to get my ankles back there too. God willing, it’s a skill that may come in handy someday.
- You know that really tall brunette with the green eyes who was in here the other night and made these little grunting noises when he was lifting what appeared to be a billion pounds with no effort at all? I don’t give a shit what you make me do so long as it makes him want to club me over the head, drag me home by my hair, and throw me all over the place like that while making those grunting noises.
- I want my ass to stop looking like elephant ears - fix it. Please? Or at least firm it up enough so that should anybody ever want to grab it again, they don’t think they just shoved their hands in silly putty.
- You pick the routine and I’ll do it so long as you give me advance warning when I’ll have my Crush Trainer so that I can at least slap on some concealer, waterproof mascara, and put on my ass-lifting shorts.
- I will do whatever the hell you tell me to do if it renders some ridiculously yummy guy so stupidly in lust with me that he showers me with flowers, compliments, gifts, and attention.
- Seriously, just turn me into a walking Pheromone, like The Gilroy - it worked for Linus, and he didn’t even have to balance his sagging ass on an inflatable beach balland do sit ups while twist his hips and keep his elbows out and shoulders down.
